Hey! Because the world revolves around me at this moment, allow me to tell you a bit about myself. I am a 22-year-old working on a psychology degree at Mount Royal University. I love watching movies (absurd comedies, action, dramas and more), I’m a nerd through and through, drawing and making art is an ideal pastime, and I own far too many plants. I have a wonderful condition called Spinal Muscular Atrophy Type II, which has given my muscles the wholly inaccurate impression that they aren’t needed to do life. While this doesn’t affect my brain, and I can fully communicate, most of my muscles have taken an extended hiatus, leaving me as something akin to a thin stick of jello. Due to my gelatinous nature, I need to rely on lovely humans such as yourself! Which brings us to now, the reason you have come: a job!

Where and When:
- Mount Royal University Residences
- Three nights per week (EITHER Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday OR Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday; if one of these sets works but not the other, please still apply)
- 11ish hour shifts (10:00pm-9:00am), but I am willing to work with you if you need slightly different hours (note: I am more flexible with start time than I am end time)

Tasks Description:
- Personal Care
> Rolling me over (it’s as simple as flipping a very sleepy octopus)
> Toileting and showering (yes, you do have to wipe my butt)
> Other assorted tasks that one typically does at night
> Getting me up in the morning (have no fear, I'm slightly more pleasant than a sleeping dragon)
- Household Chores
> Cleaning
> Cooking (not a professionally trained chef, fret not, I provide recipes!)
> Laundry

Benefits:
- Paid to nap! (a dream come true? Now you can dream new dreams!)
- Paid a whole $21.20/hour! (It’s more than no monies per hour)
- Coffee is just a 5-minute drive away (because who likes mornings?)
- You don’t need to have any experience! (training is my specialty - you shall become the greatest in all the lands)

Requirements:
- Must be able to lift/carry 65 lbs or 27 kg (if those numbers mean nothing to you, just think about picking up a drugged 8-year-old)
- Be the owner and operator of a vulva (I apologize to all the males out there, but I prefer not you wiping my ass)
- SEND A RESUME WHEN APPLYING (why are you yelling that with all uppercase letters, you ask? Because, apparently, some people don’t understand instructions when written in lowercase letters, or think that they’re sp special that the rules don’t apply to them [I hate to break it to you, but you aren’t])

Contact Info:
Send me an email directly! shanayamanerikar@gmail.com If you prefer archaic methods, carrier pigeon is accepted. DO NOT RESPOND THROUGH OKz.ca