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FOR Free! Free Range Chickens – Slightly Judgmental, Mostly Feathered

Are you tired of eggs that come from chickens with no life experience? Want breakfast that tastes like freedom and mild rebellion? Look no further.

Meet the Ladies
We've got a sassy squad of free-range chickens who've seen the world (well, mostly my backyard) and are ready to lay eggs like their ancestors intended: while judging you silently from the garden hose.

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FEATURES:
✅ Organic-ish (they eat bugs, and sometimes my neighbor's cat food)
✅ Feathered with personality – one wears a leaf like a hat, we don't ask questions
✅ Free thinkers – will NOT stay in a coop, no matter how many TED Talks I give them
✅ Come when called (unless you're holding anything remotely broom-shaped)
✅ Excellent gossipers – your secrets are NOT safe

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WARNING:
May peck at your Crocs. Especially if they're in “attack orange.”

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Limited Time Offer!
He doesn't do much except stare at the sunset and crow like he's seen some stuff.

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DM fast – before they unionize. ✊

#ChickenLife #BackyardBosses #EggstremeLadies #MostlyDomesticated
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